Coming Out
by BlueSkies13
Summary: Because after all, the coming out is quite possibly the most important part. But I never imagined it in a Broom Cupboard. Not the most comfortable place to tell him but I'll roll with it...ONESHOT


**Hi, this is my first one-shot, I hope ye like it I haven't done a James/Lily before, but I love them so…**

**If it seems like she admitted very quickly, please remember she's had these feelings for a while **

**Read, enjoy and REVIEW please! **** xoxo **

_Coming Out_

I don't really know when it happened for sure. Maybe it was when he defended me. Maybe it was when he apologised. Maybe it was when he took his shirt off at the end of season Quidditch party last year and flexed his muscles and winked at me. He does have a very nice stomach. It's smooth and tight and very resembling of a washboard. Yes, James Potter is quite swoon-worthy.

So, yeah, I don't know when exactly it happened, but at some stage, I began…to like James Potter. And not just like, but _like_.

And I can freely admit that…to myself, in my head, where no one else can hear. I can write it down on a piece of mental sticky paper and mentally stick it to the wall of my brain, where no one but me can see it. I can decorate his name with hearts and all that girly tosh and I can do it freely because no one else will ever find this bit of mental sticky paper. No one else will ever know that I like him.

Or at least, that's what I used to enjoy thinking. Of course, these days, that whole idea has gone up in flames. These days, Sirius Black winks at me and points to James' back and wags his eyebrows. These days, my best friend rolls her eyes when I deny it and responds with a sigh of 'of course'. These days, Slughorn partners me up with James Potter and this makes me think that even he knows it. And when your potions professor knows it, it shows that things are well and truly gone beyond your control.

So I suppose that's how I came to be sitting in this lovely broom cupboard, on my own, while everyone else is at dinner on a Friday evening. I'm stuck here because it's out of my control. It's not like I would willingly sit in a small, stuffy broom cupboard when I could be eating Sheppard's Pie or sitting outside enjoying the last rays of October sun. It's not like I would willingly put myself through this. No, I was forced in here. By Sirius Black.

People think he's a cool guy. I used to think so myself. He's handsome and funny. He achieves top marks and can belt bludgers with perfect aim, even when the Slytherin commentator is advertising his brother's new broomstick and making a point of emphasizing his own older copy. He can make anything seem cool, like when he spilt pumpkin juice down his shirt front last year and no one batted an eye. Yeah, I used to think all of that was cool too.

Until I was pushed into a broom cupboard by him. I know better now, obviously.

I sigh and stretch my legs out in front of me. What to do, what to do. I could go over my Charms homework. No, that would be boring. I could read ahead in Transfiguration. No, that would make me look like a swot. Though, one might argue that it doesn't matter since no one is here to see me and accuse me of my swottiness.

But no, I'm not in the mood for studying. I'm hungry. I'm really hungry.

So, to distract myself, I go back to my James musings. I know it sounds ridiculous that I would be sitting here in semi-darkness thinking of a boy who may or may not know I'm infatuated with him- it might seem a little pervy, even. But what else can I do? And to be fair, I wouldn't be thinking of him so much if he hadn't said something today that stuck in my head.

We were coming out of lunch, me and my best friend Amy, when James and Sirius were coming around the same corner. The four of us got a little tangled up. Sirius and Amy continued on their way in opposite directions- though may I add that Sirius watched her ascend the steps for a few seconds before turning around. For a boy with no previous female interest, he takes a great deal of pleasure in watching the blonde babe.

James and I were left alone in the corridor. 'So are we patrolling tonight?' he asked after a minute of silence.

'Oh, um, no, the fifth years Ravenclaws are going to do it tonight,' I told him, folding my hands.

'Oh, right. I thought it was our turn,' he muttered.

'Yeah, well it was,' I admitted sheepishly. 'But I know you have the match against Slytherin tomorrow and I just thought you might like to get some rest tonight- you know, so the team have the best chance,' I add hastily. Can't have him think I'm going out of my way for him.

He grinned at me, his eyes bright. 'Right, that's why you did it.' I prayed that my blush wouldn't show. 'Well, thanks- you know, from the whole team.'

I tried to ignore the way my tummy flipped at his smile and nodded. 'It was no problem- really it was my Gryffindor duties.'

'Well, I hope to see you in the stands,' he said with a warm smile as a group of second years passed us. I nodded. 'And, maybe after, I'll see you in the Three Broomsticks,' he added.

'Well, yeah, I'm going into Hogsmeade with Amy and Jelly so-'

'I mean, on our own.'

I swallowed and breathed in deeply. 'Oh.' A very genius response. 'Well, I… maybe.'

'Because I think you might enjoy it,' he said quietly. 'Being with me that is.'

There are loud footsteps outside in the corridor, bringing me out of my reverie. I hear shouting and a cry of pain. 'Oi!' I shout, standing and banging on the door of the cupboard. 'Let me out! Stop what you're doing!' There's a loud curse and a bang and then the door I'm leaning against is wrenched open and a person stumbles inside. The door shuts behind them with a bang before I can even try to stop it.

'Bloody hell! That bloody hurts,' the new occupant of the cupboard moans, clutching his forehead. The voice is deep and husky, so I know it's a boy. He's very tall, with a lean body and subtle muscles. His black hair sticks up at the back. His back is to me but I'd know the back of that head anywhere. How many Transfiguration classes have I spent watching one of those long-fingered hands twirling the black strands?

'James! Are you ok?' I ask, backing up to give him room.

'He pushed me, the prick,' he mutters to himself. He turns around and blinks in the orangey light from the late autumn evening, coming into the tiny room in slanted rays from the high, shoebox size window. 'Lily?'

'Yeah, it's me. Did a Slytherin push you? I bet they're trying to find a way to win tomorrow at all costs! Even if they have to cheat!'

He snorts and shakes his head. 'Unbelievably, no. Sirius did this!'

I frown. 'Sirius pushed you? Really?' He nods his head, then winces and clutches his forehead. I bite my lip and hesitatingly take his arm. I pull him closer to the window and direct him under a ray of light so I can see his head. 'Ooh, that looks sore,' I murmur, gently running my finger over his bruised temple. He hisses through his teeth. 'Oh, don't be a baby,' I mutter, rolling my eyes.

'That's sore, that is,' he protests weakly. 'Do you have some kind of charm or something to stop the throbbing?'

'I'm not so good with healing spells.'

'You're Flitwick's golden girl, you must know something. _Anything_!'

I shrug. 'Sorry, but I have nothing. Maybe you should sit down,' I suggest.

He ignores my advice and takes out his wand instead. 'Alohamora,' he says confidently. He tries the door handle and frowns. 'It didn't work.'

I roll my eyes at his back. 'No way, really? Why would he lock us in here?' I wonder.

James sighs and shakes his head. 'Thought he was doing me a favour, probably,' he mutters. He sighs again resignedly and plonks himself down on the floor. He leans his head back against the wall and looks up at me. 'You're not doing anything any good standing up there. You might as well sit down,' he advises.

I cross my arms and shift my weight, not wanting to give in so easily. The truth is I would love to sit beside him. Have a bit of a cuddle, maybe he'd play with my hair or blow in my ear- I really love when people do that. But they have to do it right. It can't be the spitty kind of blowing, or the 100 gale wind blowing. It has to be soft, slow, quiet and soothing. The kind of blowing that can put you to sleep.

It's not that weird! Maybe not as exciting as some of your fantasies, but hey…

If I sit beside him, I'll end up leaning into him. And if I do that, I'll embarrass myself. I think he already knows I like him, but I want to get it right. I don't want it to come out after a swift, late night snogging session, like Jelly suggested. I don't want it to come out when he's with his friends. I don't want it to come out when there are a million other people there, or when we're in a hurry. Because after all, the coming out is possibly the most important part. When I come out, I have to be cool and confident and flippant and casual and- oh God, I sound like I'm about to break the news to my parents!

So that's why I spent June and September skirting around it. It's why I've spent the first two weeks of October dodging the subject. And he's let me, up until this afternoon. This afternoon, he asked me out for the first time since the new term began. And not just that, but he asked me sweetly and he eased into it. That was nice. The days when he used to just shout it at me were quite frightening. I'd just be prancing along, being as normal as a witch in a bloody magical castle can be, and he'd just scream from three floors above me.

So I stay standing and lean against the wall. 'Sirius pushed me in here too.'

'I assumed that,' James nods.

'He needs to get a hobby,' I mutter.

'He has one- watching every move your mate Summers makes,' James chuckles.

I gasp. 'I knew it! He's always looking at her! Oh, that's so cute!'

James raises his eyebrows, a hint of a smirk on his face. 'Bunnies are cute Lily. Sirius Black is not cute. He is devious and sarcastic and sneaky and a right dog, so watch what you say.'

'What's the worst he could do?' I ask jokingly.

'Eat you.'

I raise my eyebrows. 'That's not weird at all.'

'If only you knew,' he sighs.

'But he definitely likes Amy?' I check.

James shrugs. 'Yeah I suppose. But he's more a 'admire from afar' lad.'

I chuckle. 'She'll be interested in that,' I say.

He pretends to look frightened. 'If you like me alive, you won't mention it. It's a very touchy subject for him.'

'Why?'

James shrugs. 'I don't know.'

'Yes you do, you're just not going to tell me,' I say accusingly. 'I thought we were friends,' I say sadly. I keep everything light, not wanting to get caught up in my feelings for him. Telling him I like him now, in a broom cupboard, would then put me in a compromising position. It'd be like I'm trying to tell him something. _Take me now James, with these broomsticks up our arses and first years making their way to the library, because I'm a slag and you're so hot._ Not really my style, that isn't.

'Who else do you hang out with?' James asks. 'Ravenclaws, right?'

'Yeah, Maddie, Jelly and Tessie,' I confirm. 'They're in Ravenclaw.'

He nods thoughtfully. 'We've been friends for a couple months now, but I haven't seen them around very much.'

'Well, they're in a different house so I only really see them at weekends,' I shrug. 'How're Remus and Peter?' I ask politely.

He shrugs. 'Fine,' he says dismissively.

We're silent for a few minutes. People must still be in dinner. I check my watch and see that the students should be finishing up soon. Maybe someone will be able to let us out. My feet are getting tired from standing, but I stay up.

'How did you find the Potions essay Slughorn set us?' James asks.

'It was fine,' I answer. 'Not too bad.' I actually found it incredibly easy but I don't want to seem like a show-off. He nods again and rests his arms on his knees. 'How did you find it?' I ask politely.

'I haven't done it yet.'

I frown. 'It's due Monday, you'd want to get a move on. You're not going to get a chance to do it tomorrow, what with the match and Hogsmeade-'

'So you're saying you'll go with me then?' he jumps in quickly.

I frown. 'No, I'm not saying that.'

He purses his lips. 'Why are you making me wait for an answer again?'

'Um…' I bite my lip, not sure what to say after being put on the spot. I told him maybe, a substitute for what I really wanted to say but was too afraid of sounding overly eager. 'I had to think about it.'

'And have you come to a conclusion?' He watches my face. 'Because I think you've had plenty of time-'

'I've only had a few hours!' I protest.

He raises his hands to the Heavens. 'How much time do you need?'

'A little longer than that!' I say exasperated. Ok, so maybe the answer is right there hovering in front of me in neon lights and wearing a banana suit (someone's looking for attention), but I'm not going to jump on him like that! What would he think? _Oh Lily loves me; she can't wait to be alone with me! _I need him to think I'm being cool about all this.

'I've given you two months!'

I frown. 'You asked me at lunch,' I say.

'Yeah, after giving you a year to form an opinion of me and then two months to settle and be sure of it!'

I look at him, slightly surprised at him clearly haven thought this out and confused as to why he did. 'And how did you go about this?' I ask calmly.

He smiles at me. 'Take a seat and I'll tell you.'

With a sigh I slide down the wall and sit opposite him. 'Go on then,' I say somewhat impatiently.

'Well, after that whole scene after out OWL's, we became sort of friends, didn't we? And then during sixth year, it got better. You didn't hate me anymore and I lay off you a bit. I suppose I could see the error of my ways. I understand now that shouting it at you while you're on your way to potions and I to Astronomy probably wasn't the smoothest way to ask you out… or the most sincere.

Then this year, I watched you. I talked to you, got to know you more. And I saw that maybe… you like me too?'

I laugh. 'Why are you asking me, I though you knew?' I tease.

He scrunches up his eyebrows cutely. 'Well, I think I do, but you know…a confirmation would be nice. I meant what I said; I do think we'll have a good time together. We've been having fun and getting along as friends, and if we try out something more than that…well, we won't know until we do.'

I smile slightly at his sincere words and look at my feet. I've been imagining this proposed date a dozen different ways since he asked me. I want it so badly and now all I have to do is say one word. Now all I have to do is come out. I look up at him. His eyes are wide and lovely. Dark, forest green and gold melting into eachother behind his glasses and turning my insides to mush. His cheeks are rosy from the heat of the confined space and his hands are clasped loosely in his lap. He's always made me feel like I can do anything.

Even when him just inhaling and exhaling drove me round the bend, he pushed me to do things. His high marks in transfiguration pushed me to keep up with him. Him throwing the quaffle through a hoop effortlessly pushed me to become interested in Quidditch. Him picking up my books from the corridor floor and helping me balance them pushed me to talk to him. Him nodding and 'mm'-ing as I told him about lawnmowers and televisions, not laughing about muggle stupidity when I described my dad's mishap with my owl Darcy pushed me to trust him.

And now him sitting there, waiting for confirmation of my feelings for him, waiting to see if I share his warm, intrigued feelings, pushes me to come out.

'I do like you,' I say carefully, as if the words might try to stab me or run away with my dignity. He smiles a small grin, so I say it again, both to test the feel of the words in my mouth and to watch his face. 'I like you. Very much, actually. Maybe I haven't always, but lately I've discovered I do.'

He tilts his head back, a big grin on his face. 'Wicked.'

I grin back, feeling elated. 'You're a man of many words.' This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I imagined coming out and admitting to my feelings for James Potter. I never pictured us sitting in a cramped broom cupboard, that's for sure. Fireworks, beaches, lakes, sunsets, yeah, they featured pretty often. But broomsticks and floor wax?

'So you're going to Hogsmeade with me then?' he checks.

I raise an eyebrow just as the door opens and Amy frowns down at us. 'Sirius and I were looking for you,' she says. 'How the hell did ye wind up in here?'

'How'd you find us?' I ask, pulling myself to my feet and offering James a hand. He doesn't let go.

'We heard your voices. Sirius had us looking up on the top floors and the astronomy tower, it was just by chance we passed by here,' she tells us as her searching partner appears.

'There you are mate,' he grins. 'See you tomorrow then Amy,' he says to my friend, who nods and smiles.

I look up at James and laugh. 'Looks like he was doing himself a favour,' I mutter slyly. 'Come on Amy, let's get some food,' I say, linking her arm.

'We are going together though aren't we Lily?' James calls after us.

I turn and grin. 'You're very sure of yourself!'

He grins back cheekily and winks. 'You have to go with me now Lily! You've come out!'

**Thanks for reading! Tell me what ye think in a REVIEW! ;) And if you liked, check out my Sirius/OC story. **


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